Today's Thoughts

Hello!
Today is a wonderful day? Why? Well there are so many reasons. I am happy, I am healthy, my kids & my husband are (well as happy as they can be...I think! LOL), I feel good, I'm losing weight, my clothes are smaller, I have more energy, I get complimented almost daily on my weight loss, I'm following my eating plan, I'm recording my daily intake on Spark People, I'm exercising daily, I'm recording that exercise on Spark People, I'm posting regularly on my YOAD message board, I've started posted on Spark People boards.....sigh. Life is good! :-)

Last night I saw Mamma Mia with my daughters, niece's, sisters (2 of the 3), my Mom and my Aunt. It was fun. We had a girls night out, went to dinner (yes, I ate very sensibly!!) then went to the show. It was nice! The girls enjoyed it too, especially the older ones! It's a cute musical. It's silly but fun.

You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I'm wondering if I will see myself differently when I continue to lose weight. I was talking to my husband the other night and I honestly think that I see myself differently than what I am. I see my weight, myself, in the mirror and pretty much see the same person that I've always seen in there. I don't seem to look much different (although I FEEL way different--more energy, happier, etc.) than I did before, to myself. Now others, they are complimenting me all the time, telling me how great I look, etc.
What I'm wondering is....will that change? Will I still see myself as a 200+ lb. woman when I weigh 180, 160, 150, 135?? I am really curious about that. Perhaps my mind just sees what it wants to see and just didn't let me "see" what I was at my heaviest. Could that be? Hmmmm....I KNOW that there are changes--my old clothes don't fit anymore, I'm in stuff that's 4 sizes smaller than I used to be, so I KNOW there is a difference. I'm trying to figure out why I can't see it in myself though...it's strange. Is it a defense mechanism?? I'm kind of excited to see if that's going to change over the next few weeks and months. I'll be sure and keep you posted on it. :-)

You know what? Last night while trying to get ready for the evening, I wanted to find something great to wear. I wanted to "show off" the weight loss a little bit, so I went in my closet to find an outfit I hadn't worn in a long time. A nice one that would look nice on me. Guess what? I COULDN'T FIND ONE! LOL! They were all HUGE! One of my former favorites, I only wore a couple of times, and I could pull the waist out farther than my fist (without sucking in). I took a few steps in the pants and they slipped down to under my hips. I laughed but I was kind of sad too. All those clothes, expensive clothes, going to waste. Now I will have to get ALL new clothes for nice occasions too. (As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I got some new clothes for my b-day, but really only about 5 or 6 outfits. Enough to tide me over but not too many so that I didn't have to ditch them all in another 2 or 3 months). Even my SHOES fit loosely. I love the weight loss, I TRULY DO, but it's an expensive proposition!! LOL!
Well, I finally found the best of the "clown pants" (as my sister calls them) and put on my best jewelry, did my hair & make up and put on some grapefruit essence perfume and AWAY I went.
It was fun! Next time I go out though, I will definitely have a new outfit that will fit me! I want to look as GREAT as I feel!!
Biggest Hugs,
Shannon

P.S. Don't give up on yourself!! YOU can do this!! I can do this!! One bite at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time, one step at a time!!