Roller Coaster Ride

It's funny how my weight loss journey is such a roller coaster ride. At some parts you are just chugging along so well, there's nothing that derails you. At other points you get side tracked often, overindulge in the "correct food" by emotional eating, lack of motivation or just plain boredom. In the old days, prior to reading the YOAD book, those side tracks would lead to weight gain and the end of the journey. The "diet" would be over and I'd just be who I was, no more guilt about my weight, no more feeling bad about my food choices and no more being self conscious every moment about what I looked like.

Last night I had a revelation! This isn't the old days. It's time to YOU turn it around and get on track. I'm not going backwards, I'm not quitting anything, I'm not a failure! I merely had a couple of days over calories--hardly the end of the world. Heck, I didn't even have anything "bad" to eat--it was just too much of it. Anywhere from 200-500 calories too much of it (4 days of the last 7). A couple of those days I offset that intake though with an extra vigorous workout or even a second workout at the gym. Needless to say, all is far from being lost. It's actually a pretty good feeling.

It's OK to know that everything doesn't go perfect all the time and you can still be on a weight loss journey. It's OK to eat above calories sometimes. It's OK not to be perfect. Heck, no one is! (Believe me this is actually pretty significant stuff for me to say--I am a true perfectionist). I am proud that I can reflect on this now and move forward NOW. I am happy that I can make changes on the inside, even if they aren't always seen on the outside.

With weight loss, comes tremendous change. It's actually the least talked about part of losing weight. For those of us that have always been heavy, it's a very scary thing to think of being a "normal weight". There are so many things that we will have to learn to handle--people flirting, being more aware of our surroundings, paying attention to the signals we're sending out, being a part of the "invisible crowd" (words borrowed from my friend Elizabeth), how we carry ourselves, building our self esteem and so much more. Lots and LOTS of change. Most of it is exciting though--I'm actually really starting to touch on this stuff now since I'm in a size 14. I'm getting closer to "normal size" and am starting to look more like the "average woman" instead of the "fat lady" or "chubby girl". A whole new set of rules are coming my way and I'll be spending the next few months (or even year or so) learning them. I can say I'm a little scared of these rules but I can also say I'm really excited at the idea of living by a set of rules I've never been a part of before. It will be an interesting ride....that's for SURE!

Hugs for today,
Shannon